I'm writing this because of an incautious statement I made here. Next time I'll keep my mouth shut. It's just part of my nature to be attracted to women who are...crazy, nuts, wild, insane, basically not good for me, like chocolate or caffeine. Or maybe not good for me like cocaine and alcohol, hard to say.The difference being, I've given up cocaine and alcohol many years ago, chocolate and caffeine are still with me.
One of the madwomen I dated back in the 80's had a shotgun, she was divorced with 2 young girls and her dad had given her a shotgun for the house, some people give towels or kitchen appliances, some give shotguns. I think it's a regional thing. She kept it behind the door and she could shoot, very well.
Pauline (not her real name) and I had been dating for about 2 months, we'd know each other for years. She lived 2 roads over from my house. I was familiar with her temper but she was my kind of wild child and I put up with a lot for her. Truth to tell, she put up with a lot from me too.
It was very sunny day in July. I was working on a roofing crew at the time, one of several jobs I tried after I got out of the service. If you've never spent a July in North Carolina think temp and humidity both in the high 90's all the time. We worked for 12 hours straight one day so we wouldn't have to come back the next day. The boss said he'd pay us for eight and we could have a 3 day weekend if we stayed to finish the job that day. Needless to say by the end of the day I was beat. After we finished the job we'd still had an hour and half drive home. By the time I got home it was too late to get ready for a date and I was too tired anyway. I decided I'd better face the music with Pauline in person rather than on the phone, I don't really like talking on the phone.
I rode over to her house knowing it wasn't going to be pleasant but not knowing how bad it was going to be. I never made it past the front door. She met me at the door, she was really looking good too, new outfit, hairdo, she looked great!...and she looked mad. I tried to tell her that it was too late, I was sorry, I'd had to work late. She wasn't hearing it. She was yelling and crying, she'd got a baby sitter, a new hairdo, new dress and now she wasn't getting to go out!
Next thing I know I'm looking down the shotgun barrel, it's a mighty long shotgun and she's a small woman but she's holding it real steady. Up to now I was remorseful, now I was scared! I started talking and I started talking fast, "Baby, listen, I'll take you to the dinner club in Greensboro tomorrow, I'll get my little sister to babysit, I'll borrow my boss's Lincoln, I'll even dance if we drink enough!"
She hadn't shot me yet so I kept talking. When it's working, go with it. "You sure look great tonight baby. I can't believe you did all that for me. I'm lucky to be with someone like you." The shotgun is still up at this point but not pointed right at me. I'm feeling a little better, but still, shotguns spread. "Baby, could I come in? I don't want someone to ride by and get the wrong idea?" I'm hoping at this point, and I'm a man, I admit it, that I could talk my way into a segue to make up sex. Hey, she didn't shoot me, and I was kind of getting turned on by the notion of seducing a woman with a gun.
Crazy women are telepathic, it was like she could read my mind, she told me I could come in tomorrow, after she got to go dancing, and she laughed, so I'm counting that one as a win.
We did go out the next night, my baby sister sat for us, I had to wash my boss's car before he'd let me borrow it, I bought her a bracelet and flowers, I took her dancing after only 4 drinks, she drove home, she let me in that night.