William K. Wolfrum Chronicles » Conservatism dies of massive cash overdose

News Type: Opinion — Seeded on Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:15 PM EDT

Article Source: williamkwolfrum.com

politics, humor, satire, conservativism, death-of-conservatism

WASHINGTON - Conservatism died this morning. Insiders say the angry ideology - which has had terrible health issues over the past three decades - finally succumbed to a massive overdose of cash. Close friends of the ideology said it died noisily and humiliatingly in an ally near Wall Street, crying and screaming threats before it finally succumbed.

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5.9

{"commentId":3017489,"authorDomain":"Wheel"}

Wheel

"Like all of us, Conservatism partied hard in the 1980s and 1990s," said the insider. "But it just never stopped. By the end, it was truly inhuman the amount of cash that Conservatism could ingest at one sitting."

{"commentId":3017489,"threadId":"363174","contentId":"1889957","authorDomain":"Wheel"}

4 votes

#1 - Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:15 PM EDT

{"commentId":3018556,"authorDomain":"tgstk2"}

tgstk2

Great satire!

I liked this line:

"Being a reforming Maverick, I've never been a Conservative, so its death has no effect on my history as a POW," said John McCain in a statement prepared by 173 lobbyists.

{"commentId":3018556,"threadId":"363174","contentId":"1889957","authorDomain":"tgstk2"}

3 votes

#2 - Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:18 PM EDT

{"commentId":3019032,"authorDomain":"rdonaldsnyder"}

R. Donald Snyder

True conservatism has died. It was murdered by the neoconservatives like Cheney, Kristol, Rumsfeld, Yoo and esp Dubya. Barry Goldwater is not just turning in his grave, he's getting ready to rise from the dead to shot the above named folks for the damage they have done to the once great GOP.

{"commentId":3019032,"threadId":"363174","contentId":"1889957","authorDomain":"rdonaldsnyder"}

3 votes

#3 - Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:48 PM EDT

{"commentId":3019282,"authorDomain":"eriktheread"}

Erik the Read

It is being reported that old-time-religion communists are rushing to fill the gap left by the deceased. Having already hog-tied the people and stifled dissent, they feel eminently qualified to lift up the fallen banner of Conservatism. "Yes, we too have an excess of cash problem" said one of a million people called Yan Ke Fan, "But we bring to capitalism what dearly departed Conservative could not: The teachings of Mao Zhe Tung who said- in the 147th revised version of sayings:
Stocks got to fall
Fish got to fry
I'll lend you money any old day
Can't help loving that man done die."

{"commentId":3019282,"threadId":"363174","contentId":"1889957","authorDomain":"eriktheread"}

3 votes

#4 - Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:05 PM EDT

{"commentId":3019519,"authorDomain":"Wheel"}

Wheel

It is being reported that old-time-religion communists are rushing to fill the gap left by the deceased

:) good one.

{"commentId":3019519,"threadId":"363174","contentId":"1889957","authorDomain":"Wheel"}

2 votes

#4.1 - Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:24 PM EDT

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WHEEL

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William K. Wolfrum Chronicles » Conservatism dies of massive cash overdose

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